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DAVE UNWELCOME AT MAR-A-LAGO

THE MAR-A-LAGO CLUB --THE DON'S PAD IN WEST PALM. DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT ITS HISTORY, BUT I DO KNOW THEY DIDN'T WANT ME CRASHING A VALENTINE'S PARTY MUCHO  YEARS AGO. THE MAR-A-LAGO ESTATE WAS OPENED OFFICIALLY IN JANUARY OF 1927 AFTER FOUR YEARS OF CONSTRUCTION WITH OWNER MAJORIE MERRIWETHER POST (THEN MRS.E.F. HUTTON) BUT THE TRUMPSTER BOUGHT IT IN 1985 FROM THE POST FOUNDATION AND IN 1985 MADE IT A CLUB.

 

WHEN THE DONALD WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT THE FIRST TIME, CONDE NAST, THE TRAVEL MAG--SENT A REPORTER TO CHECK OUT THE PLACE. SHE FOUND SOME UNITS STILL HAD WINDOW AC UNITS AND THE CHEAPEST ITEM ON THE DINING MENU WAS A SIDE OF MAC & CHEESE FOR  $30. THE BIG QUESTION NOW,I GUESS, WILL THE CLUB EVER HAVE TO INVEST IN CHARMIN OR JUST USE ALL THOSE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS.

 

WEST PALM IS A GREAT PLACE FOR FEBRUARY R&R AND FOR DAYS THE TV NEWS WAS FLOODED WITH STORIES ABOUT THE BIG TRUMP VALENTINE'S PARTY AT MAR-A-LAGO. WHEN I HEARD ABOUT IT--I EXCLAIMED--LETS CRASH THIS BASH. SEEMS MY TRANSPORTATION CHOICE GAVE AWAY MY ABSENCE ON THE GUEST LIST, IT WAS ONE OF THOSE PLYMOUTH PACERS--A WIDE BODY TOOTIE-POOT RENTAL, PLUS UNLIKE THE OTHER GUESTS I WAS NOT IN BLACK TIE, BUT IN SWIM TRUNKS AND A T-SHIRT. WHEN I ATTEMPTED TO WHEEL IN THE DRIVE, SECURITY STOPPED ME, SAW ME FOR WHAT I WAS, AND REFUSED TO LET ME PASS.

 

THAT WAS NOT MY ONLY PUT DOWN ON THAT TRIP--BOOKED INTO THE HARD COOKIE HOTEL, FRONT DESK TOLD ME I HAD THE PENTHOUSE SUITE--WHICH WAS TRUE,BUT WITH ONE SHORTCOMING. WHEN CHECKING OUT THE UNIT, IT HAD NO BED-NO BATH ,ONLY A HUGE CONFERENCE TABLE. ONE CALL TO THE FRONT DESK YIELDED THE LARGEST ROLL-A-WAY EVER EXPERIENCED--AND THEY COMPED ME THE NEXT NIGHT , A ROOM WITH A BED AND BATH.

 

DONALD TRUMP MADE A BIG PLAY ABOUT HISPANICS DAMAGING THE U.S. BUT ON A  TRIP TO NYC HE HAD THEM ON THE PAYROLL AT TRUMP PLAZA--THEY JUST COULDN'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH. I WANTED TO BUY A --YOU'RE FIRED-- T-SHIRT, BUT THEY DIDN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND MY DRAWL, SO I HAD TO PURCHASE ONE FOR MY BABY NIECE AT THE NBC STORE.

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